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-Què menjarem, avui?
- Pastís de carn.

(... dècimes de segon)

- I així? Avui...
-Pastís de carn.

No és pas que el el pobre home no disposi de més recursos, no sàpiga donar explicacions més acurades i, suposadament, tranquil.litzadores, és que ja ho ha fet a bastament. I no pot més. Me'l trobo rendit a una dialèctica purament mecànica, dins de la qual, la meva sogra, sembla sentir-s'hi com a peix a l'aigua: pregunta-respota, pregunta-respota, pregunta-resposta. Hooop! Fent maneres d'il.lusionista, destapo el paquet i apareix davant del meu públic entusiasta... Exacte, el pastís de carn en persona, a punt per anar de pet al forn, cas que el forn estigui ja precalentat... a veure... Nooo. No ho està, perquè l'encarregat d'encendre'l era aquell que prou feina tenia en anar responent sense plorar, pastís de carn, com per, a més, atinar que, efectivament, menjaríem pastís de carn i fora millor de tenir, a tal efecte (és a dir, menjar pastís de carn, i no només dir que en menjaríem), el forn preparat.

He de dir, que jo, només de sentir-ne el nom, del pastís de carn, m'entren basques. No m'agrada gaire la carn, i doncs, prefereixo menjar-me-la ganivet serrat i forquilla en mà, no si m'enteneu, menjar-me-la lluitant, a brazo partido. Meravellosa, dolça i malaguanyada paraula, pastís, que evoca tota mena de llaminadures infantils, fins i tot, cinematogràfiques, de l'època muda, on era costum de llançar enormes pastissos de nata blanquíssima a la cara de l'antagonista. I el cine del diumenge a la tarda, als Lluïsos, era ple de canalla rient, riu que riuràs, amb les escenes de destrossa de pastissos. Recordo, vívament, que no em feien, aquestes escenes, la més mínima gràcia. Una cosa tan bonica i delicada com un pastís de nata, i tan enganxifosa. Aquest inici de trauma infantil, de soledat enmig de la multitud, d'estranyesa, potser explicaria el perquè, si no m'agrada el pastís de carn, m'entesto a fer-ne, ni que sigui alguna vegada, com per exemple, ara mateix a ca la sogra. Ah, sí? I doncs, per què? Oi? Ni idea, però segur que un bon psicoanalista ens treuria de seguida d'aquest abisme d' incomprensió, insondable.

La meva sogra es refà menjant i, en acabar, cau en uns minuts terribles de lucidesa aparent. Entre l'abans i el després del pastís de carn, ha passat d'una pregunta de simple intendència a qüestions de caire metafísic, des d'on arriba a dubtar del sentit de la seva pròpia existència. Això, això que em passa, no té cap sentit. Intentem, inútilment, de consolar-la. I som a punt de pujar a la nòria: , que en té-no en té-, que en té- no. No. D'acord, però s'ha menjat amb un gust tan infantil, amb un goig tan intens als ulls, el pastís de carn... Se l'ha menjat talment fos un pastís de nata.

81 comentaris:

Gregorio Luri ha dit...

1) Ai!

2) Mai no vaig comprendre, tampoc, la mania de destrossar pastissos a les pel·lícules. Jo em preguntava, venint de família pobre, qui s'aprofitaria de les destrosses.

3) "Los despojos del enemigo".

lola ha dit...

Això d'"encostipat" fa mal als ulls. I, a sobre, la insistència. Ara intento corregir-ho.

Lola

lola ha dit...

Quant a mi (déu me'n guard, de parlar de ningú més), diria que era una necessitat un punt obssessiva per a preservar l'ordre establert, l'aversió a la destrossa. Un preconservadurisme que el temps ha anat confirmant.

3)? Los despojos del...?

rmf ha dit...

llàstima d'haver-me perdut l'encostipat sense cometes.

lola ha dit...

Sí, noi, ja no toco vores. En deixo anar de grosses. Hi havia un temps en què quasi no feia ni una falta en català. Una companya em va donar la clau de la debacle: llegir tants textos, hores i hores de lectures, quantitats ingents de textos, durant tants anys, plens de faltes, t'acaba fent trontollar. Perfecte: la culpa, dels alumnes.

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Luis Rivera ha dit...

Mravellós

Luis Rivera ha dit...

Vull dir que es un text viu i fantastic de la irrealitat més real, per aixós dic "maravellós".

lola ha dit...

Ep! NO t'havia vist, Luis. No havia llegit el teu amable comentari. Moltes gràcies. "Real-Irreal, como la vida misma", fill meu. ës a dir: Surreal.

Lola

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